Reader's Comments

"I have a notebook of the tips from your site and I love them... Bonnie Anderson has been wonderful. All the tips I tried of hers worked the first time. I am now in the riding stage and my horse is awesome. Thank you all very much and keep the training tips coming!!!!!!"
Karen Gossard
Fayetteville, NC

 Send This Page To a Friend

Have you created a strong and trusting bond with your horse? Is he happy to see you or does he sidle away from you in fear? Do you think of your horse as your friend or your opponent?

To get that bond you are hoping for you need to look to yourself first. What kind of training techniques do you employ? If you use fear to get your horse to do what you want then bonding is going to be near to impossible to accomplish. When a horse is fearful it will stiffen up and be less willing. It will always be on the defense, waiting for the next round of pain.

To get rid of the fear and instill confidence in your horse you will need to train with patience and understanding. First of all, give your horse time to be a horse. Turn out time and relaxing trail rides away from the grueling routine of the arena is a start. And when training your horse, give him more breaks so he has a chance to relax with all pressure off, while you praise him for a job well done.

The next thing to do in bonding with your horse is to spend more time with him on the ground. It takes only a moment or two more to stop and give your horse a rub on his withers with your palm of your hand before or after his workout. Throw your arm over his shoulder and give him a soft hug. Try not to hug him around the throat area, this is too similar to an animal attack and can cause your horse to step away. Step back more toward his withers and scratch or rub gently.

Show your horse signs of affection by giving him pats of appreciation often while talking in a gentle manner. When your horse lowers his head, chews his lips, or takes a deep breath in your presence you know he feels safe and unafraid when around you. When you have more than one horse, make sure you give equal time to every horse. It's sometimes easier to get attached to the horse that responds the most to your efforts. But don't play favorites.

In some cases, you can try and try to get a horse to trust you, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. Or maybe you don't feel particularly fond of your horse for some reason and don't know how to proceed. This is the time to use your imagination and pretend. Keep showing your affection whether you feel it or not. By doing it anyway you'll soon begin to believe your own actions.

For instance, I have a paint gelding that didn't seem to respond to my signs of affection at all. No amount of talking, hanging out with him, or spending extra time brushing him seemed to get any response at all. I truly couldn't tell if he liked me or not. But I kept at it, not playing favorites. It took months but one day walking out to the barn to feed the horses he spotted me coming. Up came his head, he whinnied long and loud, and trotted up to meet me, pushing his head into my arms from over the fence. I almost fell over in surprise! But it proved that keeping up the affection works.

The more you bond with your horse, the more he will look forward to being with you. He will start coming to you instead of moving away. You'll become partners working toward the same goal, and a willing horse that likes you, is a horse you can trust and learn to truly love.